Be My Escape
by kitten4979
Summary: AH/AU - In an instant, Edward Cullen lost the love of his life. Starting as Edward/Bella but will eventually become an Edward/Angela story
1. Labor of Love

She's been in labor for nearly twenty seven hours. Her doctor and I tried suggesting a Cesarean shortly after we hit the double digits, but she stoutly refused. My stubborn wife is determined to bring our daughter into this world as naturally as possible.

"Edward," she whispers, reaching for my hand. Even with no makeup and her hair matted to her face, she is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. The buzzing of the nearby machines ebb away as I gaze into her large brown eyes.

"Yes, dear," I murmur as I give her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm here."

"I'm so tired."

"I know you are." I bring her hand to my lips and kiss her knuckles.

"I don't think I can do this anymore."

I bring my head down to kiss her forehead. "You are the bravest and strongest person I know, Isabella Marie Swan Cullen," I tell her. She smiles weakly back at me and cups my cheek.

Before I can ask if she wants to go through with a C-section after all, I am being roughly pushed out of the way by a nurse. I vaguely hear her doctor order the staff in the room, "We need to get her to OR, stat."

I stare bewildered at her doctor.

"Mr. Cullen, your wife's labor is not progressing. She is still dilated at seven centimeters and now the baby is showing distress," she explains to me briefly. "Your daughter's not getting enough oxygen. We need to get into surgery and perform an emergency C-section."

I blink dumbly.

"BP dropping," a nurse reports.

"Let's go, people!" her doctor shouts.

A flurry of people and movement descend upon my wife and suddenly, I am left alone in the delivery suite. In that instant, my world comes crashing down on me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN** - Sorry this was so short. I intended for this to be a prologue as I try to figure out how to proceed.

Also, I am in search for a beta. If anyone is interested, will you please pm me? I've never had one before... Thanks!


	2. Goodbye, My Lover

My life is shattering into a million little pieces. I find it difficult to fathom that this is how cruel life can be. What have I done to anger the universe like this? Why does it feel the need to rip my happiness from me? Why take the woman I've loved since the moment we met years ago?

It was a couple of weeks after our junior year of high school had started. All of the students had been buzzing with excitement about the new girl starting that Tuesday. Forks, WA is a small community, with many of the residents knowing each other since birth. Even though she was the sheriff's daughter and had lived there briefly as an infant before her parents divorced and her mother and she moved away to Phoenix, AZ, the locals still viewed her as a newcomer to the area. I can only imagine the buzz my older brother Emmett, barely younger sister Alice, and I generated when we moved there two years prior with absolutely no ties to the community.

I had caught a glimpse of her in the hallway, being escorted to her first class by Angela Weber, the pastor's daughter. At first glance, I had to admit that Bella Swan was attractive with her ivory complexion, chestnut hair, and large chocolate brown eyes. She was petite in stature and looked even smaller walking next to Angela, who was only a few inches shorter than me. As I followed them down the crowded hallway, I noticed all the admiring glances at her from every boy in our grade. However, I was more impressed that she was completely oblivious to them – not out of ego or spite. She was focusing all of her energy on a girl who rarely received nor asked for attention. I remember quirking a little smile at that.

"Here's your Bio class. I'll see you after this period," Angela promised before she continued down the hall. "We have English together next."

"Thanks, Ang," she waved before disappearing into the classroom.

My little smile could not help but turn into a large grin when I realized that I would be following her into the room. When I entered, I noticed that there were only two empty seats left – both at the table in the back corner of the room. My eyes flickered over Mike Newton, who looked like he was making a move to change seats. I frowned and subtly quickened my pace, ignoring the sighs of desire from Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley. Bella turned to face me before she sat down and I was greeted with an infectious grin. I knew then that I was a goner.

I think of that smile now as I desperately fight the urge to call my father while I anxiously pace the waiting area floor. I rationalize that though his knowledge in medicine would help me grasp and understand what is going on, I don't think I can fully process the information he'd give me. Or perhaps I just I don't want to leave the comfort of my state of denial about the gravity of the situation Bella and our unborn daughter are in.

Fatigue finally encumbers me, forcing me to slump into a hard vinyl chair and close my eyes. I will my tears to stay at bay as I think back on our time together. Before I realize what I am doing, I am sliding off my chair and kneeling before it, praying with all of my might that the love of my life and our baby are safe and happy. I don't know how long I've been in this position, but my head snaps up at the sound of the doctor's voice calling my name. I quickly rise and meet her.

"How are they? How is Bella? How is the baby?" I plead for answers.

Then I notice the sorrow in the doctor's eyes and the grim expression on her face. My heart breaks further as it plummets past my stomach and straight for my toes. This can't be happening. We live in the twenty-first century; we're in the first world. Things like this don't happen to people like us, I can't help but think.

"Your wife lost a lot of blood, Mr. Cullen," the doctor murmurs softly to me. "We did all that we could, but I'm afraid she doesn't have much time left."

I force myself to release the breath I had been holding and slowly inhale again.

"And the baby?" I whisper.

The doctor shakes her head. "We rushed her to NICU, but I'm afraid I'm unclear on her prognosis. From what I've been told, it is equally as grim."

The room is beginning to spin. I cannot recall the last time I've felt so much grief.

"Is there anyone you'd like for us to call for you? Perhaps your parents?"

I shake my head and explain, "My parents and her father live near Seattle and her mother and stepfather live in Florida. It's just the two of us here in Chicago."

She nods and gives me a sympathetic smile, "Any siblings you're close to?"

Well, yes, but I shake my head again. "My sister's husband is in the army and they're in the middle of moving from his current post in Biloxi to Fort Drum in New York. Then my older brother… well, his wife is a model and I think he mentioned something about being in Paris this month for a show. Bella was an only child."

"I see," she says slowly, fully understanding how isolated we are. "Can we get you anything?" she offers kindly.

Get me anything? Of course you can get me something. Like my wife and child healthy so they can leave this damn hospital with me. But I'm pretty sure she meant a beverage and the thought of putting anything in my stomach now makes me queasy. I politely decline the offer.

"Can I please see Bella?" I manage to choke out.

She nods again and wordlessly leads me down the hallway to the sterile operating room. There are only a few orderlies and nurses milling around, doing various tasks. Other than the slow beep from a heart monitor, the room is quiet. Too quiet. Then my eyes find hers and I am horrified by the sight of my beloved, who looks crumpled and defeated in the middle of the room. I rush to her side.

"Edward?" she wheezes.

"I'm here," I declare as I grab her hand and kiss it fiercely. "I'm here. I'm here. I'm here," I repeat the mantra as I continue to shower her face with my kisses.

She smiles weakly at me. "The baby?" she breathes.

"She's in NICU," I swallow, laying my forehead on hers.

"She's alive?" A smile flutters across her lips. I don't have the heart to tell her the truth. "I want to name her Renesmee."

"Renesmee?" I can't help but chuckle at the odd name.

"It's a combination of your mother and my mother's name," she explains as I notice that it's taking longer for her to open her eyes after she blinks. Her breathing is becoming more labored. I lift my head marginally from hers and choke back the sob threatening to consume me.

"Don't cry, Edward," she tries to soothe me, using precious energy to raise her hand to cup my cheek. "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough."

"No," I correct her as tears begin to brim from my eyes. "You are still the strongest person I know."

"Oh, please don't be sad," she begs softly. "You have so much to live for." I am silent. I live for her. "Promise me you'll love again." I can't do that. I will never love anyone as fiercely or dearly as I love her. But I nod in concession anyway. "Don't you are lie to me, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Remember that I'll be watching you."

Despite my sorrow, I find myself smiling. No one knows me as well as her. And I feel a pang of sadness at the reality that no one ever will. "I promise," I say as I kiss her tenderly on the lips. I pull away as she closes her eyes for what I know is the final time. "I love you and I always will."

"I know," she murmurs.

And with one last whisper of a breath, my darling wife's soul leaves the Earth. The doctor quietly notes the time of death for their records before she clears the room. Once I am alone, my emotional floodgate releases. I crawl into bed to cling and hug my Bella's now lifeless body. With her in my arms, weep loudly and freely as I mourn my loss.

* * *

><p><strong>(small) AN **– I am aware that the only base in Biloxi, MS is actually USAF, but I figure with the cross training going on within our military right now, it might be plausible that an Army officer might be sent there.


End file.
